Sometimes, all you gotta have is faith

I wasn't raised to be religious. We never go to church, (except for Christmas), we don't pray before eating, and we don't read the bible or pray the rosary. Why? I don't know. I could easily say that it was because we spent 10 years living in Saudi, where the only religion you're allowed to practice is Islam, but that wouldn't be enough of a reason. Growing up there, I was aware that despite it being prohibited, masses were held at different homes around the compound, in secret. My sister was even baptised, and had her first communion there. So, see that is no reason to give. I guess it just didn't play a big part in our lives. It was kind of a culture shock when we moved here, because religion was so integrated into the education system. There were prayers before and after class, the angelus at 12pm, recollections, retreats, a whole subject even! I remember I was always nervous that I'd be picked to lead the class in prayer, because I didn't know any of the prayers! And why were there so many? And how do we know which one to use?

And ever since then, I'd always have problems in my theology classes.

So what is the point of all this blabbering?

I don't know. I almost never know why I write what I write. I think it's because of what I did on my weekend. A friend invited me to join the PREX Youth weekend recently. She actually first invited me, along with others, last month. Back then, I really didn't think about it. I was just like "ah, ok. sige tingnan ko" Didn't commit or anything. Then she sent me a text message last wednesday: "the seminar's this weekend na. ano? game?" It took me a day to mull over. I thought I was done with all these "religious requirements" when I graduated from school. What was I going to do with this weekend?! But on the other hand, I didn't have any plans, so what the heck right?

And you know what? I'm glad I did go. All the talks that we had, and the group sharings showed me that I was missing out on something. Until now, I haven't really made God a part of my life. And I think that's why I've been feeling a bit lost, and why I have all these questions bouncing around in my head. There are just some things we have to do or we must go through in order to be better Catholics and in turn better people. Somethings don't have answers, but that's okay because there is something out there that is bigger than all of us and we should just have faith that everything will turn out fine.

Another reason that I'm happy I went is because, my relationship with one of my oldest friends was changed. She showed me that I was doing something wrong and that it was hurting her. I was also able to see another side of her. I'm just not sure if I should be glad or not, because I was the one to cause it. (nervous laughter here) And well... we bonded. And I think that our relationship is stonger now.

During one of our activities, we had to show what a church is to us. Our group sort of did this mime thing where we helped up one another(we were sitting on the floor), formed a line facing the audience, traced the shape of hearts on our chests, put our hands together in prayer and then placed our arms around each other as a sign of friendship. The speaker, Tito Gene, interpreted this as the church made up of people, who when they are filled with the holy spirit, share the good news of the Lord with other people (picking them up). That wasn't really our explanation to our demonstration, but I like his better.

So....Michi, thanks for picking me up ;o)